It seems like just about every obituary of the beloved gold-hocking, giant-check-delivering, former announcer of The Tonight Show Ed McMahon includes the phrase “second banana.”

The United States is inviting Iran to its birthday party.

The paper of record has broken huge news on its front page today. No, I don’t mean that piddling Supreme Court nomination or that inconsequential gay marriage ban in California. This is a truly startling trend sweeping the nation’s schools: Teenagers, it turns out, hug each other.

Finally, the august Wall Street Journal is delivering the sort of focused, high-value content its hip-hop-obsessed, bling-chasing readers have been clamoring for. A real laugher on A-1 today examines how the recession “is cramping the style of hip-hop artists and wannabes — many of whom are finding it difficult to afford the diamond-encrusted pendants and heavy gold chains they have long used to project an aura of outsized wealth.”