Last month I ridiculed a cocaine-ruined money launderer who tried to jack the Feds for a $15 trillion tax refund. This month we’ve got a number even more inconceivable: $23,148,855,308,184,500. That, according to MSNBC, is how much Visa erroneously charged several of its credit card customers.

Good news, failed bankers. The CIA is collecting the worthless flotsam of the great ship Wall Street for “a mission like no other” — economic and financial analysis for the U.S. government!

A man who tried to steal more money than the U.S. owes China was indicted this week. A no-brainer nominee for world’s dumbest criminal, Marlon T. Moore — also known as “X-Large Moore” — filed an income tax return that sought a refund of nearly $15 trillion, The Miami Herald reported today.

It’s a New York state of mess. The New York State Senate — a corrupt, incompetent body even by the humiliating standards of state government — has been in turmoil all week because two Democrats defected, flipping a narrow 32-30 majority from the Democrats’ favor to the Republicans’.

If you dare, check out these terrible, terrible Dartmouth Republican rappers, Stiltz and Serious C (Christian names: Josh and David).

How I’ve gone 28 years living without a towel I could wear as a tunic and a toga, I’ll never know.