The paper of record has broken huge news on its front page today. No, I don’t mean that piddling Supreme Court nomination or that inconsequential gay marriage ban in California. This is a truly startling trend sweeping the nation’s schools: Teenagers, it turns out, hug.

This piece in today’s New York Times contrasts today’s hug-obsessed teens with those from some make-believe puritanical era (that passed so recently we all missed it) when “the handshake, the low-five or the high-five” were the only acceptable physical greetings. But these days, “hugging is hip.” It’s “a grass-roots phenomenon.” And oh, “how rapidly the ritual is spreading.” A “cultural phenomenon,” boasts the corresponding video piece.

To back this up, the Times quotes out-of-touch parents (”Witnessing this interaction always makes me feel like I am a tourist in a country where I do not know the customs and cannot speak the language”), a frightened junior high school principal (“Touching and physical contact is very dangerous territory”) and even a contemplative sociologist (“Without question, the boundaries of touch have changed in American culture”).

What’s next, an A-1 story breathlessly reporting the brand new craze of football fans liking beer? An expose on the this-just-in trend of college freshmen gaining weight? How about a piece on the fad of newspaper reporters imagineering trends?

(Photo: Benjamin Earwicker on stock.xchng)