According to a great story in yesterday’s Los Angeles Times, a group of fanatic vegans is suing several hot dog makers in New Jersey, demanding that future wiener packages include the label, “Warning: Consuming hot dogs and other processed meats increases the risk of cancer.” Hey, vegans: “Warning: Hijacking the courts in a lame ‘this-is-for-your-own-good’ attempt to get others to adopt your laughable rabbit eating habits increases the risk that the rest of us will like you even less than we already do.” [...]
Last month I ridiculed a cocaine-ruined money launderer who tried to jack the Feds for a $15 trillion tax refund. This month we’ve got a number even more inconceivable: $23,148,855,308,184,500. That, according to MSNBC, is how much Visa erroneously charged several of its credit card customers. [...]
Much as I love newspapers, there’s only one way for the newspaper advertising spend of intelligent businesses to go: down [...]
Run for your lives! Just as it was foretold in the 1977 Joan Collins vehicle Empire of the Ants (“For they shall inherit the earth… sooner than you think!”), ants are terrible, unstoppable monsters that will stop at nothing short of world domination! Or at least you might think so after reading the BBC headline “Ant mega-colony takes over world.” [...]